wherein i exercise my right to use asterisks and cross references to neurostimulants

Today I picked up a highly recommended book from the library. It took a long time, since the English Literature section had been recently reorganized, but it looks like it will be worth it nonetheless. I searched and searched through the stacks, moving around people "studying" in groups and in carrels.* Amid other stupids who can't write their way out of a paper bag was the Wodehouse, all grajillion things he wrote. And slightly pulled out from the rest, standing a little taller, and with a bright blue cover, was Cocktail Time. I opened it and found that the pages were well worn and dog-eared, and knew that this copy had been enjoyed by someone . It even had the classic book smell which made me smile. Books do not easily attain an ethos, at least as far as I know, but this book had one.

Other books that I know have such a quality are ones that I already know the history of and know for sure how terrific they are. They are mainly Richard Scarry and Where's Waldo books from when I was a kid, as well as some one hit wonders like Wind in the Willows, Millions of Cats, Dinotopia (the others weren't as good as the first, accept it), the Childcraft Encyclopedia volume about bigfoot and other mysterious UFOs and stuff, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark 1-3, Garfield, Calvin and Hobbes, and anything else I could find to freak myself out or pacify myself. Looking back, I had good taste in literature as a kid.

So I step down and yield the soapbox to you: what's your favorite childhood book?



*Hodges library is pretty stupid, for the most part. Accomplishing anything in there is like studying in a WWE arena complete with lasers, fog, and rockem' sockem' extravaganzas. People ignore any rules regarding respect and noise pollution. The only thing it is good for is stopping through to check your e-mail, getting Starbucks coffee**, or meeting for a group presentation. I like to people-watch and know the spots around town to do this. They also happen to be the best places to meet women. They are the park and the coffee shop. Go now, because if you don't I will.


** (*) Starbucks is brewed by Lucifer himself. On top of being a highly prolific, caramel glazed, cream covered conglomerate, it also chocks its coffee full of caffiene. How much you ask? A "grande" (ooh, Italian! Mama mia!) cup of coffee has roughly 600 mg of caffeine in it. I know what you're thinking: "Awesome". But that's too much because it quickly desensitizes your nervous system to the substance so you have to have more to have the same effect. Moderation makes it work, National Geographic doesn't lie. So fuck you, Starbucks.

(*) Can you asterisk under another asterisk? I'm not sure, nor do I know that even this reference is down with the MLA. Tough shit because I'm a rebel who don't take too kindly to rules, whores.