There are certain songs, I've found, to actually lower the IQ of a party. A few that come to mind are:

1. Bob Marley
2. Jimmy Buffet
3. "I've got friends in low places"
4. "I love this bar"
5. Any other song that completely cops out and uses a final chorus with a room full of other shouting people, wherein there is intended resemblance to a really good bar. This is so weak it makes me want to kill when I hear it, also as much as Nelly* does.
6. "Bohemian Rhapsody", obviously.
7. "Run-around", a song so saturated into our social conciousness via radio that you can spot the most stupid (or possibly nervous) people at the party because they are the ones bobbing their heads and singing along. Same thing with that Blind Melon song.
8. Weddings: Chicken Dance. No no no.


If you have any observations on this, please add them, because Hank is at home for a few days and is distracted by TV, pie, beer, and pie, and forgets about his Internet obligations. Patience.

*What the fuck is wrong with this person. First he writes "EI", which was sonic barf, then later follows with "Air Force Ones". Singing about shoes worked when Run DMC did it, but since Nelly tried it, not so much. Now he has possibly created the worst song of 2005, the one about girls who want guys to smile so they can show them their "grill". That's right, their nasty ass gold teeth. Fuck off, Nelly, you and your posse are worthless. When the revolution comes, you'll be first against the wall.