how not to be original

Something I’ve noticed lately that deserves attention (and ridicule) is the cliché conversation. There are many of them out there, and right now I can only think of two off the top of my head, but they are basically a conversation or perhaps a monologue that people have entirely too often, arguments and reinforcements that are so outdated and stupid that they aren’t worth having ever again by anyone. Ever.

The first was first pointed out as cliché by Stella, which I regard as one of the funniest entities in humor and comedy today. Their show on Comedy Central was highly censored, which arguably hurt their effectiveness. Either way, here’s my shitty memory of the conversation in question:

Guy 1: So, do you believe in God?
Guy 2: I dunno.
Guy 1: Like I believe in something, you know?
Guy 2: Right, yeah.
Guy 1: Like I don’t know if he’s an old man with a beard (they share a small laugh)…
Guy 2: Right, like he might be a gas cloud or who even knows but I think that something is up there!

Yuck.

Another example is one I’ve heard so many damn times that it puts me in kill mode as soon as I hear it.

Guy 1: Languages can be totally misleading.
Person unfortunate to serve as audience to Guy 1’s verbal excrement: Yeah? Give me an example.
Guy 1: Like with French you can say something totally disgusting but it still sounds romantic and beautiful. Like “(something in French, said with a dramatic, passionate, soft tone)”.
Person:Well what does that mean?
Guy 1: It means “Did you throw up in the toilet this morning?”
Person: -feigns laughter-
Guy 1: But German is the exact opposite.
Person: -chuckles-
Guy 1: You can say anything and it sounds like you’re cussing someone out: “ACH BRACH UN STEICHEN BRACHEN STEIN FRACHEN!”
Person: But you’re saying something nice but it sounds like it’s mean! Ha ha!
Guy 1: Heh heh, yeah. -sort of pissed that the other guy caught on so fast and he couldn't say it himself-

Let this serve as a notice: You are not funny if you say this. If you say this, you are stupid. Now no one else has to tell you and you can get on with your life by trying to rebuild your now-destroyed integrity.

So like I said, there are more examples of this, so if you can think of any let me know and we can collectively laugh at others' monotonous excuse for conversational endeavour.