a hanksclusive: Best Pathetic Pet Sites Extravaganza

sure, these animals are waiting for you to turn around so they can shit all over the carpet just like any others, but you should definitely make websites about them.

BROWNIE AND NEWMAN'S PET PARTY
unfortunately, the kegstands were not reported here

ANGEL YORKIES*NEWS
it's clear that the music is what won me over on this, but i stayed for the shameless pet embarassment.

i mean, if you think about it, these are dogs like all others. deep down, they want to kill, fight, fuck, howl, and run around in packs fucking shit up like all other dogs want to do. but the can't, because centuries of precisely planned, European, sissypants dog sex has made them what they are. i bet that every time they look in the mirror, a piece of their soul dies. if i were one of them, i'd start from scratch and hook up with that slutty neighbor dog to feel like a MAN for once.

Zoe the smooth fox terrier.
a dog with excellent typing skills, Zoe looks like she's ready to kill. also, the shitty .gif at the bottom informed me that dogs like carrots. the internet is full of useful information. something i'm still wondering, though, is why this site has had so many visitors.

dog halloween costumes: how to make sure your dog will never get laid again.

similarly, cat hats. the cartoon cats at the top sure seem to carry a better attitude than the rest on this page, maybe because they aren't real and don't have to live day after day of psychological torture. however, it looks like these cats live somewhere in Asia, so they probably have the choice between this or being eaten.